Is Monogamy Overrated?
Gay relationships have always suffered social blows and fallen short to stereotypes, reducing them to mere flings and portraying gay men as promiscuous. Normalities which have always been applied to relationships, such as monogamy, come into play and evoke the question “Is monogamy overrated?” The concept of anything being overrated stems from how much value an individual places on whatever is in question; however a dynamic venture such as a relationship should not be generalized, or normalized, because this is where shortcomings and problems originate from.
The perfect relationship becomes defined by what an individual decides is perfect for them, it is about their wants and needs, and whether their partner is willing to meet their needs and there is mutual grounds for understanding. The portrayal of the perfect relationship by friends and family in the ideal scenario is irrelevant, and more emphasis is placed on self-love and figuring out what we each want from a gratifying relationship and a partner. Someone once said to be “It’s not who you spend Saturday nights with, it’s who you want to spend all day Sunday with that’s important.” Being able to have sex with several persons may be fun and exciting, but what does it mean if it is reduced to meaningless sex? Polygamy offers an avenue to seemingly keep things fresh and maintain a diverse sex life, and isn’t it unrealistic to expect your partner to be sexually attracted only to you. But then how healthy is acting on every sexual attraction, and when does emotional fulfilment come into play?
Monogamy offers the option to grow together with someone, sharing life goals and dreams, and working together towards the success of both partners and the relationship. You become whole with your partner, and learn to love each other, flaws and all, sharing each other’s mind and body. So where does the open relationship fall? The non-monogamous arrangement where both persons commit to each other, but allow the other to have other sexual partners. The possibility for openness and honesty comes to mind, and sexual acts your partner probably wouldn’t engage in can be experienced outside of the relationship. The problem comes about when sexual attractions become an emotional one, you may be able to control your actions but you’re not in a position to control the other person’s. Some polygamous relationships may not be restricted to limiting love, but isn’t that exhausting?
The Attractor chooses to honour all relationships and arrangements, and acknowledges that the ideal relationship is purely individualized, but he also seeks emotional growth that emerges outside the confides of a bedroom and from connecting with one person, in ways you couldn’t with ten.
The Attractor
Group Multifaceted
ReplyDeleteGreat point>>> giving yourself to too many person becomes taxing after the thrill of newness fades away>> it becomes meaningless and u start lacking. relationships should reflect or values>>> if one is with the whole world and more>>> what does that say abt that person??? (am sure we would prefer not to say. if though a relationship is what we call it>> there has to be a standard a bench mark and it rest in monogamy>>> one may say its limiting, boring and tooo traditional... its way safer if both partners are faithful and more emotionally satisfying>> it promotes individual and couple growth>>>>
Great points there
DeleteGroup - (MSMs are most at risk for HIV)
ReplyDeleteIs monogamy overrated? I'd say yes. We live in a society where polygamy is widely practiced. While we have some who still live up to having one partner, the youths in general, have opted to have, in most cases more than one partner. There's the 'Husband' (main partner) , then there's the side person, who most times is only there for fulfilling particular particular purposes, whether it is just for sex, or for financial needs. This has caused a lot of break down in relationships.
It is mentioned that it is impossible for one to be attracted to one person, I agree with this. Young people just wont satisfy.
Group Multifaceted
Deletewell i agree but the emphasis on young people is a lil unfair even though i understand the train of thought>>>> the older folks are just as guilty because more often than not, they either initiate or entertain these types of relationships with the younger one>> thus planting the seed of infidelity which will perpetuate the "cya be a one burner mentality" in young msms>>> so my conclusion we are responsible old and young>> we just have to learn the value of commitment>>> and prob things will get better
Group - (MSMs are most at risk for HIV)
DeleteThat's true. Both parties should be blame yes, but it is more prevalent among the younger ones. While the older ones might be the ones to initiate these relationships, as you might put it, the younger ones still have a choice whether or not to yield to their(the older ones) calling.
Group Multifaceted
Deletethe older ones have some level of moral responsibility to do the right thing>> young msm are more often than not naive and immediate with their needs soo it is easier to prey on them and this is common knowledge>>>
Group Multifaceted
ReplyDeletepolygamy stems from wanting (all the cookies in the cookie jar ) mentality>>> if we learn how to curb our sexual diet and be satisfied then that will lead to faithfulness and make things better>>> we just have to dedicated to our loved ones>>>
Group - (MSMs are most at risk for HIV)
DeleteAGREED! :-)
as long as honesty and trust is present in the relationship a monogamy relationship can be successful.
ReplyDeleterule 2
Monogamy is my sermon #Preach
ReplyDelete